I haven’t been writing in my blog very much; well, not at all this November. But, I have been writing in the Onion Skin Journal. I began keeping a book journal this month because I miss the analogue ways I used for most of my life. I miss the tangible quality of paper which doesn’t have any glare or require any outlets.
The pages of this journal are so thin that I only write on one side of them. Otherwise, the ghosting would be so severe it would be hard to read either side with ease. The ink of my fountain pen makes the pages crinkle lusciously, and it is quite satisfying to flip through them as I reread the quotes I have written down to remember.
Such as the quotes from my latest book: Oh William! by Elizabeth Strout. She writes in such an intimate, and authoritative, way that I can’t help but wonder if it is somewhat autobiographical. It even feels biographical for me. How could she know me? She can’t, of course, and yet her thoughts seem so similar to some of my own, such as this:
Grief is such a – oh, it is such a solitary thing; this is the terror of it, I think. It is like sliding down the outside of a really long glass building while nobody sees you.p. 3
I have always thought that if there was a big corkboard and on that board was a pin for every person who ever lived, there would be no pin for me.
I feel invisible is what I mean.p. 62
People are lonely, is my point here. Many people can’t say to those they know well what it is they feel they might want to say.p. 119
These are only a few examples, of course, from pages of lines I have written down. Her words are so piercing, so beautiful, as she tells about her life and her relationship with William. They once were married, but now they are friends. I love that they have found peace with one another.
Loneliness. Peace with one another. These are some of the themes I am contemplating in anticipation of Thanksgiving this week. I have invited a woman I know who is alone; I can’t bear people to be alone especially on such a holiday as this one, where one’s blessings are celebrated.
I don’t want anyone to slide down a glass building with no one noticing.