Graduation took place last Wednesday night. For those who graduated, anyway.
I could hear the fireworks going off in the stadium around 9:00 p.m. as about 750 seniors from the Class of ’09 threw their mortar boards sky high.
But, I didn’t see it for myself. I didn’t hear my son’s name called. The chance for him to officially walk with his class is gone. It went when he failed his Algebra 2 final, one semester short of a Math requirement, and many of my dreams went with it.
When I was in high school I got through all those Math requirements by taking French. My senior year I was in French V, no lie, and I’ve since found that speaking French while in Paris to the true Parisians is much more valuable than Algebra 2 will ever be. But, someone in administration wizened up since 1979, and now you must take three years of Math. Even if you’ll never use it again in your life.
It’s pretty quiet around here. When I’m not crying, I’m reading (such a great solace). When my son’s not sleeping, he’s not home. I suspect he doesn’t want to deal with me and my disappointment coupled with whatever he’s stuffing.
There’s a slim chance that some how, some way, some one over at the high school will find a summer school class that will satisfy this final requirement. If that’s the case, we can have a celebration in July.
And you’ll be sure to hear the party right where you are.
Dolce Bellezza 
I'm positive that you'll have that celebration in July. You know what you have going for you Bellezza? You have amazing insight. It's your best gift as a mother as far as sanity goes, I'm sure though it may not seem that way at times. When so many parents have children that aren't home scream "why why why?" you seem to understand his frustrations with himself. It's just another hill to climb, this ordeal, but who knows what beautiful scene awaits you over that hill…it'll be a surprise and isn't life bland without those? :p Big hugs to you and a giant cup of tea.
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Oh, and BTW…I almost didn't graduate because of Calculus but I somehow managed to pull off a D right at the end. I totally agree with you…math is so frustrating! I can't even tell you what calculus is now…that's how useful that has been in my life. As for French, I think I'm happier that I took that subject than anything else now!
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Hugs to you in your disappointment. He'll figure it out, and take care of it, in his own time and way…but I know how hard it is for you (as you know) in the meantime. Patience, love, and trust as he follows his own route through his maze of emotion. It's hard to grow up. But once again, extra hugs to the mom, because it's even harder being the grown up.
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I know that disappointment and am praying for you! I agree with Robin, he'll figure it out and take care of it, in his own time and way. so hard as a mom/parent to just sit and watch and not be able to do anything. But God does have a plan..even when we can't see or imagine it.sending hugs your way!!
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(((Bellezza))) will be hoping for a celebration in July
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That is harsh! I hated my Math classes, and while I got through them, I can't imagine not getting to graduate because of them. (I am even a CPA now, so see how much I needed those stinky classes?) They are counter-intuitive. You will get your celebration, I just know you will, and when you son goes on to make you proud in his adult life, this will just be a distant memory. Big hugs, Bellezza.
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~ Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves. ~ Ernest DimnetI'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time but as we both know it will pass.Your son has chosen a rough path on his way to being educated but I believe he will come out right in the end. How could he not, with you as his mother?You're in my thoughts.cjh
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Oh, girlfriend, I wish I could give you a hug and a glass of Pinot Grigio. I hate this for you, I really do. To echo the others, I do believe the boy will find his way in this world. We learn more from our mistakes than we do our successes, as the hairy chestnut goes, and I have no doubt that your son will get through this, as will you.Count me in on the foreign language side of life as opposed to math. I took Spanish V in high school, and bottomed out, math-wise, with Analytic Geometry and Trig (I got Ds in both, probably because my teachers felt sorry for me). Then came the liberal arts college and its mandate that I take three classes in the math/science division, and I busted up with a fabulous D in Biology, a D in probability and statistics, and a C in calculus. I'm sending big, happy, positive vibes your way.
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**HUGS** My heart is breaking for you and your son right now. When you mentioned the other day that your son was having to take Alegebra 2 again, I didn't realize it was going to keep him from graduating. My husband graduated a semester late from school and he feels bad that he didn't get to walk with his class (he didn't get to walk at all as there was no ceremony in January). I don't think we think about the consequences or how things will affect us in the future when we make our decisions now. I do hope for you and Daniel that there will be a HUGE celebration in July. It is Daniel, right? Or am I totally making that up?
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Oh, man. That's rough. I know I've shared this with you before, but my own, dear, successful, gainfully employed husband did not graduate with his class. He refused to do a portion of the assigned work in his English class on the basis that it was stupid and a waste of his time (which, in fact it was- Readers' Digest summaries or some such nonsense.) Because of his stubborn unwillingness to just shut up and do the work, play by the rules, play their silly game, he ended up having to take a summer class at the alternative hs an graduated from there. He went on to become a history teacher and is now an IT specialist at a local university. So, there is light, my friend. I'm sure your son will be just fine. In the meantime, I'm so sorry this has happened- it's terribly disappointing for you.
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Ah, your comments are like the Balm of Gilead on my soul. It's wonderful how encouragement from others really does lift us up! ME up!I just went over to thank our neighbor for her unopened graduation card. "Open it up," she said, "he'll graduate some day!" That, combined with all the affirmation I'm reading here, just brings a smile to my face. I've never liked fitting in the box myself; all my teacher friends say he's just like me. We have to shake the devil off our back when he gets us down with discouraging thoughts of despair, because he does not get to decide the outcome or our intentions.
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Oh, I am sorry for you and your son, but I do believe you will be having that celebration in July, and that it will be very sweet, indeed. (I loathed math in high school & Algebra 2 was the bane of my existence, so I sympathize).Hang in–and hang on! Thinking outside of the box is needed now more than ever; in ten years, your son will be the one all the others are turning to for advice.
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Bellezza – I'm so sorry for your disappointment, but I just know your son will get through this in his own time. My prayers are for a delayed celebration in July. (((HUGS)))
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I echo what all the others have said. I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.
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I see you're feeling better, so I'll just add my hugs and thoughts. Things will work out. Remember, I'm married to a man who got terrible grades and is dyslexic — the odds were certainly stacked against him — but he still managed to get three university degrees. As to my kiddo . . . haven't heard if he passed, yet, darn it.
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Dreams sometimes get delayed. God is not only in the details, but in the delays. Really.
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Hi Bellezza. I'm sure your son is even more disappointed than you. In the big scheme of life this is small potatoes. My daughter had a hard time in high school and ended up doing home school the last year. For her, it worked out beautifully. She didn't walk the stage with her class, but she had other experiences that were for her, the best choice. Everyone is different. You have a beautiful and thoughtful son who leaves you beautiful notes on your washing machine for mother's day…We are all different, different talents, different timing for our acheivements. I'm positive your son will do what he needs to do…I am also positive you have raised him well. Hugs to you and to your son in this time that I am sure is disappointing to him too. Best Always, Bellezza xox
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I'm late (again), but wanted to let you know I'm sorry about this disappointment you're facing, but agree with all the others. He'll work it out eventually and this will be a small blip in his life, one you'll laugh about years from now. I know that doesn't help right now but hang in there and know that your friends are here if you need to vent. Lots of hugs to you!
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While you are all so sweet in your assurances I find myself vascillating between acceptance and despair. Parts of me say, "Oh, this is just one little thing in the course of life, and I hate bureaucracy in its entirety," while other parts of me say, "Oh, but this is High School. How easy is that?!" The important thing for me to remember is that this is not my journey but his; he must ultimately accomplish what he wants.
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Oh, that would be so hard! But he'll get there somehow. Once it's over and he has that diploma it'll be okay.
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The important thing for me to remember is that this is not my journey but his; he must ultimately accomplish what he wants.Hold on to that thought for dear life!
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I'm sorry about your son and graduation. I want to give you a big hug! Just remember it is not as important WHEN he graduates, just that he DOES.
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